


Skies Fell

by karusarchive (cluelesskaru)



Series: We Once Were All Here [2]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Author is sleep deprived just like Raleigh, Everything Hurts, I Blame Charlie Hunnam, Raleigh after Knifehead, Raleigh before working on the wall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-13 22:44:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3398960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cluelesskaru/pseuds/karusarchive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been exactly two months. That’s 59 days. Raleigh Becket wearily opens his eyes and stares at the clock, he then adds a couple of hours to his routinary counting.</p><p>No one is yelling today. </p><p>Outside there's a storm as big as Anchorage's storms can get.<br/>Raleigh doesn't know what he's doing, he doesn't know why he's still there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Skies Fell

**Anchorage - April 29, 2020 - 05:34**

 His brother screams.

He knows what Yancy is going to say, he heard it in his head, but it never got out of his brother’s lips. And it troubles him, it troubles him, it troubles him. What if his older brother had decided to say something else when he knew those were his last seconds? What would he say? _What was he going to say?_

 

His brother's screams give way to the sound of pouring water.

He’s been having the same dream so often, that waking up to his racing heart became ordinary. But he does know this is going to be one of the bad days. He hasn’t even opened his eyes yet, but of course he knows, he **feels** it.

It’s been exactly two months. That’s 59 days. Raleigh Becket wearily opens his eyes and stares at the clock, he then adds a couple of hours to his routinary counting.

The last Becket boy has only had a handful of good days these past few months, but every inkling he has lately are like a brand new tear on his flesh.

 

Yancy always laughed off when Raleigh said he was having "a bad feeling" about something, but deep down he listened to his little brother. Except that on that fateful night, Raleigh actually _felt good_. Which made everything even worse. Why didn't his gut warn him about Knifehead? How come Raleigh _didn't know?_

 

It's raining outside and maybe that's why it feels like it is going to be a bad day.

The rain is pouring loudly against the window, like rain that felt like nothing against Gipsy, like the rain that reached him through the gash in the Conn-Pod. Like the tears that just wouldn't wouldn't wouldn't stop rushing away from his eyes, even though he tried to hold them. Even though when Mom died, his father said that " _Men don't cry, you stupid boy_ ", and so Raleigh didn't cry when he left. He cried for his mom and then he cried for Yancy and that was that.

But the rain hammers against the window, his body is feverish, there are million tiny knives in his shoulder, and the back of his eyes _hurt_ , and so he closes them again and starts counting.

" _Just count to ten, sweetie_." Mom used to say. " _And if ten isn't enough, keep counting until he stops yelling._ ".

No one is yelling today.

Raleigh lost count eventually, but went way after a thousand until he gave up and sat on the bed. His skin feels clammy as he rubs the sand out of his eyes.

It’s too early, it’s still dark.

Maybe he could read the only book he owns again (and he has read it, what? Three times these past months?), there’s something in knowing  which the next word will be that comforts him. But not today. Knowing nothing is going to change won’t give the last Becket boy any comfort today.

There’s a black hole in his soul, and it sucks everything in him. Sometimes it feels like the former pilot is an empty shell. Sometimes it feels like the only thing holding him together is his skin, like the flimsiest breeze could topple him to the floor and he’d never get up again.

 

 

 

Jaz smiled a true smile when she saw him at her doorstep. It might seem like something a sister would always do upon meeting a brother she hasn't seen in forever. But its stuck Raleigh as bad. She shouldn't be smiling. Yancy should be there too, or at least in his place. Jazmine shouldn't have smiled at Raleigh at all, she should’ve punched him in the face. He hated her even more when she hugged him.

When he left, she was smiling too, but it wasn't a relieved one, it was a forced, a teary and forced smile for his benefit. And so Raleigh hated her all over again.

 

 

 

 

It’s a storm as big as Anchorage's storms can get.

He doesn't know what he's doing, he doesn't know why he's still there.

Raleigh gets up and puts on as many clothes as he can get and goes into the street. Anything is better than staying in that shitty room.

 

Yancy died reaching out. I’m going to tell you what he was going to say.

It was: _“Raleigh, listen to me, you have to use the plasma cannon, now!”_

That was it.

The last thing his brother said to him, no, the last thing Yancy _tried_ to say was a command, it involved battle. The last thing Yancy ever drew breath to try (and fail) and say was to take care of his co-pilot. Always taking care of his little brother.

Raleigh did use the plasma cannon. He did eventually kill Knifehead. But it was too late. It was too late but he couldn’t believe, he wouldn’t give up just there. So he did the unthinkable. He brought Gipsy to the beach all on his own. 

She overwhelmed him, Raleigh had never felt pain like that before, his brain caught fire, glitched, some part of him even died a little. He burned and all his worst memories tried to pull him out of focus; on the back of his mind Raleigh watched his father leave, watched his mother die, but denied to accept his brother was gone. And now the last boy keeps going, because Becket’s don’t give up (at least that’s what he keeps telling himself).

_Raleigh, listen to me_

_Raleigh, listen to me_

_Raleigh, listen to me_

_Raleigh, listen to me_

 

 

 

 

The sun should’ve come up already, but there are so many clouds and now Raleigh is wet and he doesn’t know if staying inside was really all that bad. He just lets his feet take him wherever, takes turns without looking, gets soaked through and feels nothing. Are the streets really that quiet or did he simply lost his ability to hear too?

The truth is, he is tired of it. Raleigh Becket is tired of the constant rain, he is tired of the constant pain. On the streets he walks with no destination. He just wants for it to go away, _why can’t it just go away?_

But these kind of thoughts hurt. They hurt, they hurt, they hurt.

Suddenly he doesn’t know where he wind up, but there’s a board announcing hiring jobs in construction. Maybe that’s what he needs. To build walls sounds like a way to be safer.

 

 

 

  
It’s still raining.

**Author's Note:**

> My heart just breaks whenever I think about how must've been like for Raleigh when he found himself completely alone. Even Jazmine wouldn't be able to make the emptiness go away.
> 
> I'll go cry in the corner now.


End file.
